My Social Media-less Life

Well-meaning people would say that my issue with the loss of yet another thing that basically defines my adulthood is “the same.”

The funny thing about grief is that none of it hits the same. Even how quickly I get to the point of mourning over the loss of a thing is different.

I understand where those people are coming from though. “Well, you’ve gone through the loss of social media, so losing YouTube is no different.”

Except it is… because of the relationship I have with the BlimeyCow channel. I legitimately almost cried last night when I was telling my best friend why I was so frustrated with this loss. And even then, I think I undersold it to her.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: YouTube was the ONLY “social media” I fought to keep, even back when I got rid of the other sites. And I fought to keep it because of BlimeyCow. The Lord is ever gracious and allowed me to keep it.

But it was becoming what other social media had become, and even I knew, it would need to go. Why did I wait until it was almost too late? Because I was being ignorant and stubborn, basically.

You might think this is a lot of emotions just to delete an app on my phone. I mean, it’s not like I got rid of my accounts or anything! Except YouTube on a webpage is a lot harder to watch and enjoy than on the app. First world problems, I know, but it’s one of the only social media platforms I never liked using outside of the app… with the exception of being on a laptop/computer.

Since my YouTube “future” is in jeopardy though, I’m not going to push it like I did with the other socials where, even after I removed the apps, I still went to the websites anyway. Maybe the Lord will allow me to keep YouTube… or maybe He won’t.

Whatever the answer is, the grief is not all the same. It all hurts differently and for different reasons. But I do want His will more than I want my YouTube.