My Social Media-less Life

Today is my “check-in” day, where I tell you all about how I’m doing. After Wednesday night’s post, here’s what I learned about myself:

I grieve differently over the loss of social media than I do over the loss of my father.

I’ve heard it said that every loss is different, but even before I left social media, I wouldn’t have thought of it as a loss. Losing people is something to grieve. Losing beloved pets, good friends, even the loss of friendships would be “grief-worthy.” However, I’ve never thought of something like getting off of social media as a loss. Especially because I chose to leave it and had— at least for the most part— come to terms with getting rid of it.

This week was an even bigger indicator than the previous two weeks that social media was, in fact, a loss I was and still am grieving.

Thursday afternoon, after reading my post from the night before my mom said, “You know, we knew someone trying to get off of drugs who had the same type of reaction. They didn’t know who they were without the drugs and went through all kinds of emotions. Anger was one of the bigger ones. The reason you feel like you’re paddling out in the ocean is because you’re trying to figure out who you are without such a big addiction.”

Ouch.

And then I talked to a friend this morning that agreed with my mom but in different words and with her own “loss” story. And the thing she lost also wasn’t a person or relationship, so it was a similar feeling that she said she still sometimes has to deal with.

We all deal with grieving in different ways and we grieve differently for different things.

Once I was privy to why I was so angry all the time, I was able to work through it and past it without too much fuss. But man, getting to that point was definitely the hardest part of my week…

I’m grateful for the people in my life who check on me. Those who know they’re doing so and those who don’t but are just telling me about their normal lives and allowing me to get my focus away from myself and my problems for a time.