My Social Media-less Life

Yesterday morning I woke up with a directive from the Lord. What it was about, I’m not at liberty to say just yet, but it will be revealed soon.

It was extremely weird in that I’ve never had anything like that in my adult life and anytime I had a directive before my adult life, it was through a third party (usually an adult) that I got the directive. So I knew it needed to be done.

I asked a friend for some advice and it took her a large portion of the day to get back to me since she obviously has her own job, but she basically came back with that verse from the book of Matthew where Jesus says, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.”

I didn’t expect that to be the answer, first of all. Second of all, I immediately started justifying all the things I’d been thinking about throughout the day that were workarounds to this directive.

First rule of a directive: there is no workaround.

Today, I came to realize that. However, for the second day I woke up talking to Jesus… however this time it was more like “negotiating terms.”

Well, maybe I can do this or do that from time to time. It wouldn’t be an all the time thing and I would still basically be doing what I was directed to do.

Second rule of a directive: there are no negotiations.

As today went on, I found all the normal things irritating me. My roommate, the weather, how cold my room is in the cold months… if it was something that would happen on a normal day, it didn’t matter. It was irritating.

Finally, I told my friend (the same one I asked for a bit of help) about these things and she said, “Well maybe you’re just having Big Emotions about The Directive.”

Third rule of a directive: It’s ok to have Big Emotions; you still need to do the thing.

Geez Louise.

So now that I’ve got that out of the way, it took me all day to get to this point… I’m going to do the thing. It’s still very hard; one of the hardest directives I’ve had to follow to date and it will affect a good number of people. But I would essentially be having a “savior complex” by thinking I could do these things by myself or that I got where I am in my own strength.

100% this was all God and it will still be all God no matter what happens.

So I’ve been grieving a loss again, the loss of the things that go against this directive. They’re not bad things by any stretch of the imagination. They are however, no longer God things. And to lose the grace and the covering to do those things will make things far worse than if I just pivot when the Lord says.

And He has said. So now, I am going to do.