My Social Media-less Life

This weekend I’m in Woodland Park, Colorado, at a women’s conference. Today is the last day, but now that I’m mostly over the altitude sickness, I decided to get a coffee at the beginning of the day.

And then I wasn’t allowed in the auditorium because the cup doesn’t have a spill-proof lid.

Whoops.

So I have been “banished” to the outer area until I finish my coffee. Which is fine. I spent a whole session in this area yesterday. They have speakers and TVs so you don’t really miss anything.

Plus there’s an AMAZING view.

I have a learned a lot… about myself.

That’s not why I go to conferences in general, but somehow I ended up learning a lot about myself this weekend.

Was some of it altitude sickness and lack of oxygen? We are 8500 feet above sea level, so probably.

Either way, it was a rough day on Friday. It started as dizziness and then it turned into claustrophobia, and since that can trigger all sorts of weird reactions (like anger and frustration), I did what I always do when I can’t handle a situation anymore…

I went to the bathroom.

To be fair, I DID need to go, but it gives me a quick out that literally no one questions.

So I spent the rest of the first morning session in the outer sitting area/foyer/whatever this area is called, until after that session. The second session was much better and I’m glad I was there. So far that was the highlight of the weekend for the group, the second morning session was.

That brings us back to today…

As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I am sitting in the sitting area outside of the auditorium and thinking about my morning.

Because I hadn’t texted my mom good morning yet, I texted her and it occurred to me that my ducky earrings (one of them displayed in the top picture) are always the biggest hit with people. So I mentioned that to her.

My nephews and niece love them, my best friends both love them, and one of the ladies in our group pointed them out this morning before we left for the morning sessions.

And all of them have actually pointed them out. Seemingly as if I didn’t know what type of earrings I had put in.

My mom said, “Everyone mostly had [duckies] as kids. They are a good memory.”

And she mentioned if they didn’t have ducks, all adults knew about Ernie from Sesame Street and his love of duckies.

So I realized… even in some of my more stressful moments, I can still bring joy. And by bringing joy to others, it lifts me up too, and it pulls me out of that funk, at least enough to remember how to recenter myself and talk to the Lord with some semblance of clarity.

It wasn’t quite as clear yesterday, but I finally got to the point yesterday where I took an afternoon session time and just spent time with the Lord. I read my Bible, I journaled my thoughts and feelings, and I went for a walk around the pond a few times.

I even saw a bunch of deer. It was a beautiful walk. At the end of it, I felt better than I had in some time. I realized I was being too hard on myself and without realizing it, I had put undue expectations on the weekend.

What? Me? No…

My bestest friend has spoken very highly of last year’s conference, so without realizing it, I had expected this weekend to blow me away.

But it was just a lot. The elevation, the constant sessions, the coming and going.

I didn’t know what to expect, but being overwhelmed was NOT one of the things I was expecting. I can usually recover pretty quickly once I figure out what’s going on… but it wasn’t so this weekend.

After spending that hour with JUST the Lord and not someone else’s teachings about the Lord, I learned all of these things about myself.

Sometimes a superpower can become a weakness, especially when it’s not coupled with your relationship with Me, the Lord gently reminded me. And boy howdy, I’m glad He reminded me gently.

As an aside, I sometimes see my gifts and abilities (like the ability to adapt to a new environment quickly) as superpowers because it makes life more interesting and I try not to take the gifts for granted since not everyone has the same gifts and abilities.

Thankfully, the Lord is a gracious God and knows what we need and how we need it. I’m so grateful for this weekend and what I’ve learned… about myself.

But also what I’ve been reminded about the Lord and His grace.