My Social Media-less Life

This post will probably be shorter, since I’m on my phone and don’t have my keyboard and tend to say slightly less when that happens. But this was something I started to write for somewhere else and decided it would be better suited here.

My grandma passed away earlier tonight. The above picture was in October, for her 80th birthday party (and my grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary). This was also her first time meeting two of the four kids in this picture: the littlest guy on my grandpa’s other side and the little girl. 

In all honesty, we weren’t close, but she was my dad’s mom and a lot of her mannerisms reminded me of him. When I went to Wisconsin in July with my mom, I made it a point to go see them since every time could be the last… and I’m glad I did. Because it was, for her. 

One of my favorite things about her was that she was a good storyteller. I loved to hear her tell stories, and I always have ever since I was a little girl. When I was younger, I loved to hear her read me stories and books, but as I got older, sometimes just stories she would tell about her life were fun to listen to… even if she either stretched the truth, forgot some of the details or remembered a story completely differently than everyone else.

When I visited her back in July, she told me stories about her great-grandkids and how much fun it is to see them all growing up. She mentioned my nephews and niece a lot because my sister-in-law is very good about making sure all the grandmas receive regular updates.

Grandma kind of hated that she didn’t see them as much as she would have liked, but she was glad for technology and pictures at least. She kept telling me she wanted to come down to Kansas City and see them all one more time before she passed on… but there was a sadness and finality in her tone that made me wonder if it would actually come to fruition.

Next June will be 10 years since my dad died though, and I figured maybe they would make it a point to come down then.

And I’m sure some of the family will still make some kind of trip… but Grandma won’t be included in that bunch.

Grandma also gave me an air fryer that she never really used when I saw her in July. Why do I mention that? Because I got a lot of gifts from her over my lifetime, and that was literally the best gift I could have ever been given… I gave it to my mom and she’s used it literally everyday since.

Since I’m never home to cook, I figured it wouldn’t actually serve me much good, but who says no to a free air-fryer that still has the user manual?

Besides, I know my mom cooks for her husband nearly everyday. And it’s not like she lives far away… I can come have air-fried food at any time!

I joke with my mom that it’s the best gift she ever got indirectly from Grandma… the best direct gift being my dad in marriage, of course. 😛

People have asked me how I’m doing and do I need to talk… and I don’t really know how to answer that.

Immediately, the answer is no. I don’t need to talk.

Down the road a ways… the answer might change.

Death was never in the original plan for creation and that’s why it always feels so wrong to experience. But humans are adaptable, and I think that’s why all grief hits different. Well, that, and no one has the exact same relationship with everyone they will lose in their lifetimes.

How am I doing? Well… Grandma had issues at the beginning of the week that led to her passing tonight… so I’m just glad she’s no longer in pain and am believing that she’s in Heaven with Jesus, my dad and her brother… finally at peace for maybe the first time ever.

That’s the best I can do for now.